Episode 3: From Master to Daddy, the Evolution of Roles in Kink and BDSM
What happens when the role you started with no longer fits who you’ve become?
In this gently revealing episode of Buried Alive, Rachel sits down with Neil—a longtime kinkster, caregiver, and host of one of Liverpool’s most beloved munches—to explore how our identities shift in kink over time. From calling himself a Master in his early days to now settling into the softer edges of Daddy, Neil shares his personal evolution with tenderness, honesty, and the kind of quiet wisdom that comes from years of listening, holding space, and learning.
Together, they talk about what it really means to care for someone—not just in play, but in life. About how dominance can look like discipline, but also look like soup, cuddles, and the reminder to drink some water. About the difference between roles and connection, and how sometimes we need to let go of what we thought we were supposed to be to find who we actually are.
This is an episode for anyone who’s ever felt themselves changing. For the ones still figuring it out. For those who know their role—and those who are rewriting the rules.
What We Talk About
The lived difference between Master and Daddy dynamics
Why emotional labor is real—and underrated—in kink
What burnout looks like in the lifestyle, and how to slow down
How munches offer more than social time—they build identity and community
And the quiet grief and surprising joy of being single while deeply wired for caregiving
Big Takeaways
You don’t have to stick to one role forever. Your desires and dynamics can shift, and that’s not just okay—it’s human.
A Daddy/babygirl dynamic isn’t always about regression—it’s about safety, presence, and deeply knowing someone.
Community spaces like munches don’t just help newcomers—they keep organizers grounded and evolving too.
Noticing the unspoken: the drop in energy, the unsaid “no,” the moment someone needs to be held instead of pushed.
Kink burnout is real. Pacing your exploration is just as important as the play itself.
Listen If You’re Into...
Caregiver dynamics (especially DDlg or middle space)
Exploring and evolving kink roles
Munch culture and community leadership
Real talk about being a single Dom
Emotional intelligence in kink
The power of gentle dominance
Neil on the mic
“When I first thought I was a Master, I felt like I wasn’t allowed to feel anything. Switching to being a Daddy—it just felt freeing. Like I could be myself again.”
“Even when I’m single, I’m still a caregiver. Whether I’m hosting a munch or helping a friend through a rough patch—I don’t stop being who I am.”
“There’s no such thing as too early for communication. In kink, we talk about limits, needs, and wants before we even take our clothes off. That’s what makes it work.”
Meet Your Guest
Neil is a long-standing member of the UK kink scene and host of a thriving monthly munch in Liverpool. Once identifying as a Master, Neil has embraced the Daddy role over time, aligning his kink with his naturally nurturing and emotionally supportive instincts. Known for his grounded presence and community leadership, Neil is passionate about creating inclusive, welcoming spaces for newcomers and veterans alike.
Follow him on Fetlife as Anagoge
Dive Deeper
→ Find a local munch near you
→ Listen to Georgina talk about how to find your taboo limits
Chapters
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Kink and Identity
02:44 Evolution from Master to Daddy
05:01 Lifestyle Kink and Emotional Connections
07:31 Navigating Relationships and Caregiving
09:11 Community and Support in Kink
11:32 The Role of Munches in Kink Culture
13:50 Fluidity in Kink Roles
15:39 Burnout and Returning to the Scene
18:01 Self-Identification and Caregiving
20:05 Understanding DDlg Dynamics
22:29 Communication and Boundaries in Relationships
24:32 Challenges of Being Single in the Kink Scene
26:21 Advice for the Future and Personal Growth
