The science of safewords: Language, limits, and reflection
Safewords aren’t just about stopping—they’re about knowing yourself deeply enough to speak when it counts. In this blog, we explore the emotional science of safewords: how they work, why they matter, and what they reveal about trust, trauma, and pleasure. From navigating edge play to dismantling shame, this is a tender, honest look at how stopping can sometimes be the most powerful way to keep going.
Affirming desire: Integrating kink into ethical mental health care
What if the parts of us society calls deviant are actually doorways to healing? In this post, we explore why kinky clients are still misunderstood in therapy—and how that’s holding back their healing. From consent and power dynamics to aftercare and self-integration, this piece is a call to action for therapists to meet clients where they are: rope marks, shame, glitter, and all. Whether you're a clinician, a healer, or just kink-curious, this is your invitation to expand what it means to truly hold space.
Enneagram and kink: Obliteration, objectification, and the Sexual Instinct
Enneagram and Kink: Obliteration, Objectification, and the Sexual Instinct explores the deep psychological pull of BDSM through the lens of the Enneagram's sexual instinct. Why do some crave ego death, objectification, and complete surrender? How does power exchange become a tool for transformation rather than trauma repetition? Drawing insights from John Luckovich’s The Instinctual Drives and the Enneagram, this article unpacks the connection between kink, intensity, and self-discovery—challenging shame and embracing the raw, primal truth of desire.
The Drama Triangle and power play: Are we healing or repeating patterns?
BDSM is built on power exchange—but without awareness, it can become a stage where we unconsciously reenact toxic dynamics instead of breaking free from them. Enter the Drama Triangle—a psychological model that explains the cycles of Victim, Rescuer, and Persecutor that keep us trapped in unhealthy relationships. Are you surrendering from a place of strength, or because you don’t believe you have a choice? Are you leading with respect, or are you playing the hero to avoid your own shit?